Dear Mama’s,
Does this below quote resonate with you?
“Being pregnant is like going through puberty all over again: your hormones go nuts, your hair and skin don’t behave the way you’d like and you develop a new relationship with a body that seems to have a mind of its own. The difference? Everyone understands that adolescence is an awkward phase. During Matrescence people expect you to be happy while you’re losing control of the way you look and feel.”
Alexandra Saks
This is matrescence, the core changes we as women experience as we enter this unknown world of Motherhood where our body, mind, hormones, identity, self-esteem, connection with friends, family, work and society shifts.
Matrescence starts during preconception and goes through every stage of our child’s life (new born, toddlerhood, preschool, school, teenage years and beyond) because let’s face it every phase throws up challenges and morphs our way of living. Matrescence is on-going and may last our life time.
A little history
The term matrescence was first coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in 1970s. She also introduced the idea of a doula and promoted breastfeeding at a time when it was unpopular.
“The critical transition period which has been missed is Matrescence. The time of Mother-Becoming, or giving birth, does not automatically make a mother out of a women.”
Dana Raphael
Matrescence as a concept was never taken any further until the research of Aurelie Athan (PhD) brought it to prominence. Dr Aurelie Athan is a clinical psychologist and facility member of the Teachers College at Columbia University, New York City. Dr Aurelie Athan defines Matrescence as:
“The process of becoming a mother, coined by Dana Raphael, Ph.D. (1973), is a developmental passage where a woman transitions through pre-conception, pregnancy and birth… to the postnatal period and beyond. The exact length of matrescence is individual, recurs with each child, and may arguably last a lifetime! The scope of the changes encompasses multiple domains -bio-psycho-social-political-spiritual- and can be likened to the developmental push of adolescence.”
Dr Aurelie Athan
The Beauty of Matrescence
Matrescence introduces a term that allows us to acknowledge how we feel as Mothers. It gives us a tool to allow us to express our feelings, emotions, conflicts and phase of life we are going through, to gain a sense of collective normal and provide opportunities to further ourselves individually and as a group.
Embracing our matrescence is an opportunity for continued self-discovery and growth and creativity that will allow us as women to be empowered as individuals, Mums and collectively as Mothers. The alternative is we fall into society’s expectation of bouncing back; physically, emotionally, culturally and professionally. We go back to our old self, just with a child or children in tow and force the balance between children, family, work, social life to work. When it doesn’t balance we feel like a failure.
Join the Embrace Matrescence community to start your journey of matrescence. You are not alone and we are here to support you every step of the way.
Hugs,
Sandra